What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.