Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?
An alarm cluck.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What do you call a zoo that has only giraffes in it?
Giraffic Park.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.