Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.