Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.