What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.