Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.