What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What do you call a handsome seal?
Mr. Seal Yo Girl.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!