What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!