What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don