Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.