How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.