Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Where did Velociraptor buy things? At a dino-store!
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.