When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!