What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.