Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
Did you hear about the owl party?
It was a hoot.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.