Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.