That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.