What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.