What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.