What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.