What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
I like you, you croc my world.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!