Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do you catch a squirrel who's interested in ornithology?
Climb a tree and act like a nuthatch.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Why wasn’t the giraffe invited to the party?
He was a pain in the neck.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.