According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.