Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.