Animal Puns

Animals and puns are two terrific things. Put them together and things get really punny!

Animal Puns

Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story...*
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.