When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.