Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.