A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...