What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
What’s the sequel to that?
Fuller mouse!
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.