What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.