I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.