What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.