Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?