What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
I hate getting into arguments with farmers about the best methods for keeping crows away.
They always resort to straw man arguments.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”