What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.