What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.