Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?
A mouseketeer!
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.