Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.