How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.