What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.