Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.