Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!