The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners!
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!