What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
Why do worms hate graveyards?
They keep bumping into skeletons!
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.