What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why did the elephant start the stampede?
Because it wanted to be herd.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!