If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.