What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Something’s goat to give.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.