Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.