What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.