Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.