Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.