How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted