Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!