How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What's a goat's favorite organ?
A Kid-ney
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo