Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
I ate an omelette for breakfast…
but I’m still feeling peckish.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
In the Camel Kingdom, the king and his family live in the Camelot castle.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.