I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What happens when two snails get into a fight? They slug it out!
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!