What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What did the husband beaver say to the wife beaver to express his love and gratitude? You are the one for me, waddle I do without you?
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.