Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
Why couldn't anyone see the flamingo? It was in de skies.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
Have you ever seen a fish cry?
No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.