Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
What do crows read? Cawmics.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
Baroke, baroke, baroke.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.