What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!