What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What type of food do worms like?
Your Halloween Candy!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table? She was hogging the food.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.