What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Something’s goat to give.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.