How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.