What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
How does Toucan Sam wear a belt?
He puts it through his loops
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.