Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Why did the blind seal get eaten by the orca?
Because he couldn’t see that whale.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.