Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
I goat this.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.