Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!