How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.