The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
I saw a squirrel throw up today! It was nuts!
What do you call a holy squirrel?
A chipmunk.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!