Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.