Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.