What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Why did the T-Rex get a ticket? He ran through the stomp sign.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell