Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
You have goat to be kidding me.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!