Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!