What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.