What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.