Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!