What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad!
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!