What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster