What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do worms leave round their baths? The scum of the earth.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.