How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What did the deer say after she did her friend a favor?
“You doe me!”
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do you call an owl with a deep voice?
A growl.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.