What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
I was driving through the safari park when my sat nav said “bear left”. It was clearly a zebra.
Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.