What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.