Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.