What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.