What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.