What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.