What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!