Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What do you call a cross between a donkey and a zebra?
Debra.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!