What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.