What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
I saw a beaver and I thought it was odd. Then I saw another semiaquatic creature and I thought it was otter.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!