What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
Q. How do you start a letter written to Sears Roebuck?
A. Deer Sirs..
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.