Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Something’s goat to give.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.