If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the chimpanzee cross the road?
Because he had to take care of some monkey business.
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderella-phant.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
My pet owl will soon turn 180.
He's not old, he just has a bad neck.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram