What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
Something’s goat to give.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.