What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.