What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Whatever floats your goat.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
I like you, you croc my world.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What did the gorilla say after spending one month at te gym?
Geez, gain a little muscle mass, and everybody acuses you of steroids. As if eating too many bananas wasn't dopey enough!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.