Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.