I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
The turtle had to cross the road in order to get to the Shell station.
I had a shell of a time when I attended the costume party as a turtle.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Mistakes happen.
No need to terrier-self up about it.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB