How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
I met this really beautiful crustacean, but I lobst her number.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.