What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What's more impressive than a talking fish?
A spelling bee.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.