What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!