Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Q. Why was the lady baboon so atrracted to the big gorilla?
A. 'Cause he had s*x ape-peal.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
Because it wanted to lay it on the line.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What’s a dolphin’s favorite constellation?
The Big Dipper!
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.