Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.