What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.