It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why was the teenager deer a bad driver?
He didn’t want to use the deering wheel.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).