The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.