What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Q. Why are big gorilla turds always so stinking tired?
A. Because they're all pooped out!
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!