What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do birds like to put in their soup? Crow-tons.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.