Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why are parrots so loyal? They are a man of their bird!
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.