What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.