What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?