Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What kind of fish will help you hear?
A herring aid!
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
A group of crows placed evenly between two margins is definitely a justified murder.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.