What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
What is a flamingo's favorite ride at a theme park? The flamingo-karts.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
My two cats had a fight today.
They soon hissed and made up though.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!