What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.