What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have? Baby Dinosaurs.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What did the deer’s mother say to her daughter on her birthday?
“I remember the day you were fawn!”