What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What makes more noise than a dinosaur ? Two dinosaurs!
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.