I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What's the difference between an owl and an Irish funeral?
One's awake in the night and the other's a wake in the day.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What’s the great white shark’s favorite candy?
Jaw-Breakers.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do beavers make a bouncy dam? Well, they use spring water.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ? A Tricera-hops!
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What to spiders eat in Paris?
French flies.