When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.