Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose? OUT of the way!!
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What’s the difference between a healthy rabbit and an odd rabbit? One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.