The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.