What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?
Ones a crustaecian and the other is a crushed Asian.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What do you call a rabbit housekeeper? A dust bunny.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.