What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Hannibal crossed the Alps because it was safer than crossing the elephants.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!