Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
Where did the deer go to fix its tail?
The re-tail shop.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
I wondered why flamingos were so strong, so I did a little research. Turns out they do a lot of eggs-er-cise.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How do snails make important calls? On shell phones.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
If you have a line of 100 rabbits in a row and 99 of them take 1 step backwards, what do you have? A receding hare line.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.