Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How does a kangaroo pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Large, pink birds are a good asset to a football team. They’re very used to playing flamingoalie.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!