How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Why is the snail the strongest animal? Because he carries a house on his back!
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What do you call a glass of alcoholic pig’s blood? Swine.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...