If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What should you give a deer when it gets stomachache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."