What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do you call it when a raven marries a crow? A conspiracy to commit to murder.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Count Duckula.
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a rubber bumper on a yacht?
A shark absorber.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.