What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
I used to own a rabbit, but now he’s just some bunny that I used to know.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.