Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.