I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.